Pet Loss & Grief Support

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Grief can affect every aspect of your being. Therefore, your emotional, physical, cognitive, social, and spiritual needs must be nurtured in order to work through grief and to heal.

The following are some suggestions on how you might begin the process of self-care. You may find that improving in one aspect makes you feel better in others, or that certain behaviors help in more than one area. This is because they cannot really be separated; each is somewhat dependent on the others and all are crucial in healing and maintaining your general good health.

Emotional – Emotional care involves expressing and acknowledging your pain.

• Talk with someone who understands the relationship you had with your pet and how much you are hurting
• Join a Pet Loss Support Group
• Write down your feelings in a journal or in a letter to your loved-one
• Create a scrapbook or photograph album of your pet
• Use your artistic abilities such as drawing, painting, or sculpting to express your feelings

Physical – Physical care is done to keep your body healthy. Grief can deplete your energy and make you extremely susceptible to illness and disease.

• Eat healthy foods
• Exercise
• Avoid using alcohol or drugs as a means of “feeling better”
• Try to get enough sleep

Cognitive – Cognitive functioning can be extremely impaired by grief. Try stimulating yourself intellectually to improve your memory, concentration, and other cognitive abilities.

• Read books and other information that will help you to understand what you are going through (see our suggested reading list)
• Talk with others who have been through a similar experience and learn what was helpful for them
• Social contacts and establishing a support network are extremely important to help us not feel so alone. 
• Find a healthy balance between the time you need alone and being with others
• Join a pet-loss support group
• Although not everyone will understand your grief, having a couple of close friends or family members who are supportive will help tremendously

Spiritual – Spiritual care involves doing things that you enjoy, that connect you with nature, and being kind to yourself.  Some people refer to this as working in your “heart zone.” Spiritual care can, but does not have to, include your religious beliefs or your philosophy on life.

• Take a long walk
• Take a long bath or shower
• Light a candle in memory of your pet
• Get a massage, facial, pedicure, or anything that makes you feel good about yourself
• Think about your philosophy of an afterlife for animals and talk with others who believe similarly to you
• Call a friend you haven’t spoken with for a long time
• Do something kind for someone else
• Meditate
• Do something kind for other animals or for an animal cause

It is hard to know whether grief as we understand it is something that our companion animals feel when they lose a fellow four-legged friend. Since we cannot simply ask them how they are feeling, we can observe them for signs of grief. Several studies show that dogs grieve for their close canine companions.

Your pet simply knows that their friend is no longer present and may exhibit one or more symptoms of grief including:

• Withdrawal from people and other pets; acting withdrawn or despondent
• A lack of appetite or change in appetite
• Lethargic behavior and sleeping more than usual
• Unusually aggressive or destructive behaviors
• Calling out or vocalizing in an unusual way for the pet who died
• Searching for the pet within the home and other places frequented by the other pet; includes pacing
• Becoming very clingy to the owner and following the owner around

Things to Remember

• Some animals will show no signs of grief after the death of another pet in the house.
• Even for pets, grief is an individual process that will affect each one in a different way

What can I do to help my grieving pet? 

♥ Stay positive: As hard as it is for you to cope with your own loss, talk to your remaining pets in a calm and upbeat voice as often as possible.

♥ Engage in new activities: Giving your pets something new to learn or focus on may help distract them from the loss and the uncertainty surrounding it. Dogs, especially, benefit from learning something new that will give them confidence in their pack position.

♥ Do more of what your pets already love to do. Getting to do something fun and enjoyable with you can go a long way toward helping your pet cope – and will help you feel better, too.

Helpful hint: While it is tempting to comfort your pets when they are showing signs of hurting, it’s important that you don’t try to soothe them while they are engaging in unwanted behaviors you don’t want to encourage. 

How long does grief last in pets?

Like humans, the grieving process differs for each individual pet experiencing it, lasting weeks to months. Many things can affect the grieving process; including but not limited to the age and health of the pet, the relationship with the other pet, and the grieving process of the humans in the household. Your pet’s reaction to the loss should improve as the days/weeks go by. If this does not happen then you should contact your regular Veterinarian.

When should I notify my veterinarian?

If you notice that your pet is not returning to their “normal self”, especially if there are severe or persistent symptoms, it may be time to call your regular veterinarian for a check-up.

• Persistent lack of appetite
• Vomiting
• Diarrhea
• Lethargy
• Separation anxiety or depression
• Behavior issues

Should I get another animal as a companion for my pet?

This is the one of those questions for which you are the best person to answer. You know your pets better than anyone else and are most likely the one who knows best if another pet will make your current pet or pets feel better.

Some things you might consider when making this decision are:

• Is your pet very social?
• Is your pet used to having other animals around?
• Would another pet help your current pet to get more activity and exercise?
• If your current pet is now an only pet, how much time will it be spending alone if there is not another animal in the house?
• Are you and other family members ready to commit to and reinvest in another pet?